Baby Update #5 (Final)

God was with us yesterday.

He was with us in the way we were able to make it through the ultrasound, where the tech didn't say anything this time, but we could see there was an even bigger gestational sac (measuring eight weeks and five days) and still no baby...

He was with us back out in the waiting room, where we knew it was "over", yet had to wait like everyone else to see Dr. Nelson, for the "official word" and the next steps.

He was with us as we were able to calmly ask questions and answer questions and make the necessary plans for my D & C tommorrow.

He was with us as we went straight from there to church where my husband had to preach.

He held us together, and I'm thankful.

They will start my pre-op stuff at 10:00am tommorrow, and Dr. Nelson will begin the D & C at about noon. Once again, please keep us in your prayers. My last (and first) experience with a D & C when we lost our first baby was not a good one for me--- plus I hate being "put under"--- so, I am dreading not only the emotional aspect, but the physical one, as well. However, I have heard that Dr. Nelson is excellent at this procedure, so I'm counting on having an easier experience this time!

Even though a Blighted Ovum is a "random accident", since I've now lost three babies, Dr. Nelson is going to do some testing to make sure there isn't something specific contributing to me miscarrying. She is also going to put me on some more drugs to hopefully prevent me from miscarrying again. I do think she is an excellent, and very thorough, doctor. Even though the prospect of losing another baby terrifies me, Josh and I plan to continue trying for a bigger family as soon as I am allowed.

I know people sometimes think it is easier for you when you miscarry, but already have a living child... I'm not sure we can adequately measure any woman's (or couple's) pain, nor is it a competition, anyway, but I will say having Emily makes Josh and I know what we are missing out on with our other three babies. And that this miscarriage hurts as much as our first, before we had Emily. That being said, she is such a comfort to us, and I know so many people long to be parents here on Earth, and never get the chance, so I humbly thank God for the opportunity.

Thanks again for loving us!