Walk in What You Know

I wanted to take a minute today before our doctor's appointment to share something that touched me yesterday.

Josh and I watched a DVD called "A Piece of My Mind" by Christian comedian Chonda Pierce last night. We had gone to LifeWay in the afternoon and I got the DVD (for $2.00, by the way, using a special coupon... I love a bargain!) because I was desperate to laugh.

Well, Chonda mixes humor with sharing some of her own experiences, and she talked about going through a bout of bad depression. Then she said something that I've heard before, but that touched me in a new way. She said, "You walk in what you know, not what you feel."

It's a simple statement, but one I needed to hear so badly. And it echoes some of the sweet things my family and friends have said to me lately. So...

I choose to walk in what I know, not what I feel. And here is what I know:

God is for me, not against me. He loves me with an everlasting love, no matter what. He understands my anger and my questions, even though I have no right to be angry with Him or question Him. Satan wants me to doubt God's love for me, but I won't do it. God proved His love for me long ago, on a wooden cross, even though He knew I would do so many things to hurt Him. If He never did another thing to prove His love for me, that would be more than enough... yet, He does... every day. He owes me nothing--- I owe Him everything. If He has taken my baby to Heaven, He has His reasons. I don't know them, but I know He has them. And I trust Him. He listens to my anger and my questions, and He understands my struggling. He knows I'm human. He just wants to be the One I cling to. He asks one thing of me: to not turn my back on Him. And I won't.

I will walk in what I know, not what I feel.